Outside The Fence
by fearisalie
Summary: Set after Insurgent. What if coming outside the fence was different? What if they found a world just like todays?
1. Chapter 1

The war was over. The factions were gone. Rebels still ran through the city. Tensions ran high through the people. The video of my ancestor was out, leaving everyone wondering what was outside the fence. Should we risk our safety? Should we leave the only place we've ever known to venture into unknown territory?  
I didn't know. All I knew was the numbness in my body, the ice in my soul. I had lost too much- my parents, my brother, my way of life. Tobias' betrayal still stung in my chest. I don't know if I'm ever going to be fine, if I'll ever feel safe again.  
But I know I will survive.  
Because I am selfless.  
Because I am brave.  
Because I am Divergent.  
Because. I. Am. Tris.


	2. Chapter 2

Faces flash in front of me. My mother, her blonde hair tumbling around her face. Her blue eyes bright and fiery. Her face set. She doesn't look Abnegation this way. She looks Dauntless. Her mouth forms words that I can't hear. I struggle closer, tears prickling my eyes. I will not cry. I won't. I can't. If I cry, the ice that's keeping me together will shatter.  
I'm close enough now that I can make out the sounds.  
"You did this to me, Beatrice. It's your fault. You weren't selfless when you needed to be, Beatrice. You weren't brave when you should have been. You could have saved us all. It could have been different. You did this to me. You did this to us."  
Her face fades slowly into the black and my father's replaces it. His green eyes glinting coldly.  
"I trusted you. I thought you would stay. You betrayed me. You betrayed your family. My death was your fault, Beatrice."  
The tears I have been holding back threaten to spill. My heart starts pounding in my chest.  
"I..I...I didn't-...I'm.." I struggle to form the words I will never be able to say to him. I try to talk but all I can do is watch helplessly and stutter as his face morphs into Will's.  
Will. Will who I killed without a second thought. My friend. My replacement of Caleb. I killed him. A strangled cry rises in my throat as his green eyes peer into mine. I'm shaking now, tremors wracking my body. Any minute now the tears won't be able to fall quietly. I'm shaking harder. Will doesn't do anything but stare. His mouth shoots open and I expect the jabbing words that will come out. But they never do. Instead, he talks softly whispering my name over and over. His voice doesn't sound right. It sounds deeper, older. Almost like..  
I open my eyes slowly. Tobias' dark eyes hover inches over my face. They stare at me concerned like he could drag all the pain out of me just by staring. My cheeks are wet and my hands claw at the sheets. My body starts to shudder again and I close my eyes, silent tears spilling down my face.  
I feel a hand on my face, a thumb running my cheek. I lean into his hand but I can't seem to stop shaking.  
"Tris" a whisper nothing more. A whisper because anything else right now might break me. I whimper and Tobias slides his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap. I bury my face into his neck as he rocks us slowly. I feel his lips moving against my ear but I don't hear the words. I just sit there and cry.  
There was a day where I would've laughed at the thought of me crying my heart out. There was a day when I would have rejected any comfort. There was a day when I wouldn't let anything break me. But that day isn't today. Eventually I fall asleep, still wrapped in Tobias' comforting arms, a sliver of guilt running through me.

I sigh once again from the fitting room. Christina and I have gone back to normal, sort-of. There are still moments where I catch her staring into space with a longing look in her eyes or when she looks at me with a slight look of disgust. Of course, the guilt still burns in me and haunts me at night. I still wake up screaming for everyone I've lost but at least it's not every night.  
In an attempt to go back to the way we were, Christina had dragged me out of my very comfortable apartment to go shopping. I slip on the dress reluctantly. It was a Christina special-in other words short, tight, and hot. It is dauntless black and ends just past my butt. The dark fabric brushes softly against the skin that it hugs. I slip my feet into the heels Christina gave me and walk out. As soon as I step out, Christina's eyes widen and her mouth hangs open. She squeals so loudly that I wince as she begins to hop in place.  
"Tris, Tris. Oh my gosh you have to get it." She squeals.  
"Chris, please. I don't-"  
"No you don't. You are getting that dress if I have to pay for it or if I have to get Four to bribe you."  
I grumble before nodding my head. I'd do anything to keep Christina from squealing again. Plus the more I agree with her, the less stores I get dragged into.

Finally, food. Chris has dragged me around for hours and I finally convinced her to let me eat. Ok so maybe collapsing onto the floor proclaiming that I wouldn't get up until I had food was a little dramatic but at least I got food out of it.  
I shovel food into my mouth as fast as I can. I spot Uriah prancing (can guys even prance?) over, plate piled high with more Dauntless cake than food.  
"Trissy!" He exclaims.  
Rolling my eyes, I smirk before snatching his plate of cake. "You want your cake, Uriah?"  
Uriah eyes are wide and pleading. "Ok ok. I get it. You don't like Trissy. Maybe something else? Tris-a-boo?"  
The cake slides dangerously as I tilt the plate as though I would drop it.  
"Tris! Not the cake! Calm down and hand over the cake."  
"Mmmm...I think I need a little something first," I say and snatch a couple of slices of the cake before handing the plate over. Instantly, Uriah hugs the plate to him, glaring at me.  
Zeke sits down across from me, smiling in that insane way of his. "So guys, who's up for a party at my house tonight?"  
A party? Now? So soon after the war? I looked out across the faces in the cafeteria. Written on each one was pain, guilt, anger, defeat. Some tried to hide it-put in a brave face-but I could see through it. I knew that face. I saw it almost every time I looked in the mirror. Maybe a party was just what we needed. Something fun, something loud. Something to remind is that we are Dauntless and moping and defeat just isn't our style.  
I nodded slowly and say, "Yeah, I'll go."  
Christina looks at me, her face displaying shock. Actually, the whole table is. In these past few weeks I haven't been the Tris I was in initiation. Everyone else has been drowning their fear the Dauntless way, by acting as if nothing happened. They attacked the zip lines, bombarded the tattoo shops. In a way, they are more reckless than before. But I, I hid myself. I tried to forget the Tris I had become. I didn't want to be reminded of the person who killed her best friend, who betrayed and was betrayed.  
Christina nods and says, "Yeah. Yeah, I'll go. What kind of Dauntless would I be to deny a party?" Our table nods and bangs their fists on the table. In this moment I remember why I chose Dauntless. Not because they were strong, not because they were loud, but because they knew how to live. Every day isn't guaranteed and the Dauntless live each day like it's their last. We may be broken but we won't let that keep us from living.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It all belongs to Veronica Roth**

**Chapter 2:**

"Ahh!" I yell while running around Christina's apartment, ducking and weaving and jumping. "Chris, stop!"  
Right after lunch, Christina had all but kidnapped me, pulling me to her apartment under the pretense of getting ready for the first official Dauntless party since the war. I allowed her to shove me into the new dress I bought today but when she pulled out her bag of make-up, I tried to leave.  
So, here I am now, weaving my way around furniture as Christina's apartment, screaming bloody murder and jumping over furniture as Chris races behind with a stick of eyeliner in hand. Stupid dress, I can barely run in this. I don't know how Chris deals with this all the time.  
"Tris! Get back here!" Christina yells, frustrated.  
My response is to run behind the couch. I can't get to the door-Christina and all her junk blocks the door. Chris tries to catch me, leaving the door free. I sprint towards the door as fast as I can in the dress. Halfway there, something slams into me from behind, sending me sprawling. I flip over to see Christina posed over me, eyes fierce, eyeliner suspended close to my face. She sits on me to keep my body pinned. I open my mouth and start screaming again, wriggling in an attempt to get free.  
"Tris! Keep still already!" She says lowering the stupid pencil.  
"No!" I yell and wriggle even more, desperately trying to get free.  
A loud bang echoes through Christina's apartment and the door flies open, slamming into the wall. We freeze and glance to the door. Tobias stands in the doorway, eyes wild. Behind him, I can just make out the forms of Zeke and Uriah. Tobias looks at us, confused as to why Christina is on top of me. When he sees the torture device in her hand, his eyes light up, and his mouth twitches up into a grin. I glare but that only makes Him grin wider.  
"Four." I whine. "Can you please get Christina off of me?"  
As I talk, I make my blue eyes wide and pleading and force my lips into a pout. What guy can resist his girlfriend making a puppy face at him?  
Shaking his head, he grins. "Why?" Apparently, Four can.  
"Um...because it's a torture device?"  
"Oh, come on Tris! What happened to striking?" Christina whined while waving the thing in an enticing way.  
"I don't know." Tobias shrugs. "What do you think Zeke? Eyeliner or no eyeliner?"  
"Eyeliner!" Zeke yells, smirking. "Don't think I've seen Trissy here with it."  
Four nods, a brooding look on his face. "What about you, Uriah?"  
He doesn't reply and I look up to see him staring into space. Zeke grins and shoves him into the wall.  
"Um...yeah. Uh...eyeliner's good. Definitely good." Uriah whispers distracted.  
"Well, Tris," Four smirks, "Looks like you're outvoted. Eyeliner it is Chris."  
She fist pumps the air before before lining my eyes with it.

** LINE BREAK**

I sit in the chair, arms folded across my chest, lips pursed. I don't know why I even let Christina anywhere near me.  
"Ok Tris. It's time to go." Christina says.  
I hop up and bolt for the door with Christina laughing and calling for me. I hobble along the uneven stones as best as I can in the 5 inch death traps Christina calls shoes. Soon, I feel the music vibrating through the walls. A couple more feet as I can see the Pit swarming with people. Music blares from multiple speakers placed throughout the area. Dauntless dance in the center while off to the sides are the bars and couches, people sprawled across as if they are already too drunk to move. Tobias will most likely be there. I make my way through the throb of dancing bodies, shoving and elbowing my way towards the exit. Stepping towards the bar against the Chasm, my eyes seek out Tobias' muscular form.  
I spot the back of his head, his body encompassing the bar stool and, as expected, a half-empty beer bottle in hand. I head towards him, trying to imitate the smooth and silent way he glides across the floor. Halfway to him, I am stopped by a group of kids about two years younger than me. They all have various piercings, tattoos, and dyed hair. Dauntless born.  
"Oh my god! You're Tris, aren't you?" One of them asks, a girl with blue strips in her otherwise blonde hair. "I'm Tessa. It was so cool how you stopped the war."  
She talks the same way Christina does-loud, fast, and to the point.  
"Um, yeah." I say, squirming uncomfortably.  
"Yeah, that was so cool!" One of the boys says. His are alight with excitement and his mouth is curled in an adorable boyish grin.  
"Is it true?" A blonde girl asks.  
"Is what true?" I reply, staring to get agitated.  
"That you slept with Four and it the only reason you came in first. And that he got you knocked up which is why you've been hiding ever since the war ended." Another girl pipes up; her ice blue eyes glare at me coldly. What? People are saying that? The uncomfortable itch I've been feeling for a while now grows and it's all I can do to keep my hand at my side instead of punching her. My guess is she's anther one of those girls who had a crush on the Dauntless prodigy and not the person beneath. I glance towards the bar, hoping to see Tobias, but he's gone. The only thing left is an empty beer bottle sitting on the counter.  
"Well I think it's cute. And I bet she got first all on her own." The first girl, Tessa, says.  
Ice Queen snorts. "Yeah, well I hear she got beat up on her first fight ad couldn't land a punch."  
That's it. My hand tightens and swings toward her face. Shocked, she tries to dodge but is too slow and my knuckles catch her cheek hard. I'll have bruises in an hour or two. I sweep my leg out, tripping her while she's stunned and off balance. Her head smacks the floor, body following with a thud. I crouch over her and punch her face once again. Her friends are either too shocked or too scared to help her.  
"How Dauntless do I seem now?" I snarl in her face. Her blue eyes widen before quickly narrowing. I can feel a crowd gathering, pushing up against us yet leaving enough space for the fight they wish would happen.  
"You still look like a little girl. I bet Amity punches harder than you," she spits. To the crowd she might sound brave, but I can see the surprise and fear she's trying desperately to mask. I should just walk away. The Abnegation girl inside of me cringes at the throbbing crowd calling for a fight and the adrenaline pounding in my veins. She cries for me to leave. She says I've done enough-I've already stood up for myself. But the crowd around us and the anger in me consumes me. I lean forward slightly, throwing my fist towards her nose. My fist hits and something crumbles under my knuckles. Her scream is the only thing I hear I the rush. I push off of her and stumble back slightly. My stomach rolls ad bile rises in my throat. I think I'm going to be sick. My eyes stare wide at the blood rolling down her fingers. I did it. I did it again, the one thing I swore I never would do again. My breathing quickens as I begin to panic. Suddenly all the memories I had struggled to suppress began to bubble up, playing over and over in my head. Instead of the pounding music, the screaming Dauntless, I hear the pounding footsteps and the screaming Abnegation. Instead of the shouts I joy, I hear screams of agony. Instead of the black clad Dauntless, I see the falling gray clothed Abnegation.  
A hand touches my shoulder and I flinch away before throwing my elbow back. The hand catches my elbow, cupping it, and tugs my body gently back. As my back meets a hard chest, arms softly wrap around my waist. The subtle scent of alcohol and metal reaches me and the rising urge to struggle falls back down. The crowd begins to break apart, heading back to the bar or dance floor as soon as they realize the fight is over. I sag into Tobias' embrace, still seeing flashes of the war.  
"Are you ok?" His breath tickles my ear as he whispers.  
I think about nodding my head. I think about ignoring my pain. But we had promised not to lie to each other and so, reluctantly, I shake my head. Tobias unwraps his arms to stand in front of me. Fingers graze my cheeks as he stares into my eyes before nodding, grabbing my hand, and tugging me into one of the dark empty hallways. My heart clenches as I think of how my mother did the same thing the last time I saw her before everything erupted. I wish we could go back to the simplicity of those days.  
He stops when we are alone and leans against the wall, crossing his arms. Standing there, in the dim light, leaning casually against the wall, he could be a god. An angel. (He's handsome a voice whispers in my head and I see her glittering light blue eyes, the gentle curve of her smile) as I wonder again how I was lucky enough to end up with him.  
"What happened?"  
"I..." I look away. Thinking back on it, it seems silly. What kind of prodigy, (hero), shies away from themselves? Who lets a fight being back memories they so desperately tried to bury? I feel weak, empty. No longer capable of who Dauntless wants me to be- the first jumper, the Stiff turned Dauntless, the girl with six fears.  
"Tris." His voice isn't coddling, but it it's harsh either. It's firm yet comforting. A perfect blend of who he really is and the prodigy that Dauntless has forced him to be.  
Be brave, I think. "They recognized me." I whisper softly. "It was ok at first, but they kept asking me questions. I got annoyed and was about to walk away when one girl asked if it was true. I didn't know what she was talking about. She said that I only passed initiation because of you. Because..because I was sleeping with you." My voice cracks and I look away from him before continuing. "She said I was hiding because you got me pregnant. She kept taunting me, saying how weak I was. I got fed up and punched her. She said I punch as hard as Amity and that I was just a little girl. I kept punching her until she screamed. I was there, Tobias." My eyes flicker to his as I barely whisper it. "It was happening all over again. The screams, the bodies lying in the streets, the faces."  
His eyes soften from his impassive stare when he sees the guilt and pain that must be so clearly written in my face. He steps forward, pulling me towards him.

"It's ok, Tris." I can feel his jaw moving against the top of my head. "You stopped, didn't you? We'll be ok. That happened but it doesn't have to shape us." He pauses for a moment. "Now, I heard there was a party going on. Think we should crash it?"

I pick my head off his chest and smile. My hands finds his, fingers slipping perfectly into the spaces, and I pull him back to the music.

**LINE BREAK**

Tonight is the first time I've felt my age since initiation, before I was forced to choose if someone deserved to live or die, before I had to choose between sacrificing or staying safe. I dance like no tomorrow, staying far from the bars. Occasionally, I sweep my eyes across the Pit to see Christina stumbling around. By the time Tobias suggests we leave, my feet are killing me and I'm falling asleep on my feet. We stumble off the dance floor and through the dark hallways. At one point Tobias scoops me up into his arms. I smile at him before letting my heavy eyes flicker shut and nudging my face into his chest.


End file.
